for the love of cliff

words cant convey to you how very little patience i have today. where did it all go wrong? (i will assume you ask) idunno. the landlord was two hours late coming round to see me. my tumble driar is not drying. and a ring on my cooker dont cook. id also recieved a letter from some finance house or other demanding my details of tennancy. needless to say i told them to do one until id spoken to the landlord. anyhoo. turns out, under the recent financial um situation, i think ill call it, that his affairs were to go under management and they will collect all of it so hed loose all the proffit on each of his 35 properties, not including the penthouse in spain thats worth £1.5m but couldnt give away, an the £3.5m divorce settlement last year didnt help, andit was more or less the fault of tennants not paying up on time. as you can imagine, i told him i have no sympathy. went down like sand in in the vaseline. oh well.
then my machine was running slower than a 56k job. remember them?
then my ipod went tits up.
mother
of
god
i never leave the house without it. 2gig nano. nothin flash. handy as i can change the tracks dailt if the mood takes me.
then i had to wait for the repair man, who despite knowing the problem and the make, turned up without the part.
then i applied for a drug testing program. £2k for takin a few experimental respiratory pills. the fact ive not seen a doctor for 10 years, so have no records for the the last 3 years ecludes me. "experimental drugs? are you mad?" you say? ok. how many times did you smoke/snot/inject something? you never know exactly what it is, but you do it anyway....? no? then you will never understand, but suffice it, that plenty of labrats and bunnies died already to make it almost 100% safe before they were granted a licence to try it on humans.
then i managed to cock up my fried eggs. i broke two yolks then lrt the other go hard, so no dippin of the mcains for me. nice one centurion.
doesnt sound muxh i know, but i am the opposite of dr kildare. unknown for my patients.
how did hbos loose £24b? c-units to a man. and who suffers? you, dear reader, as i am assuming you are a good little taxpayer, as for me, well, dream on.
one bit of good news tho. herindoors just picked up my ipod and said "did you try this?" and it worked. miraculous. course i tried it. umptenn fekin times. i fix stuff. thats what i do. not have a johnny foreigner, not even the mancub variety, do it for me. am i happy? im only happy when im unhappy. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
well. hasta manana.