words cant convey to you how very little patience i have today. where did it all go wrong? (i will assume you ask) idunno. the landlord was two hours late coming round to see me. my tumble driar is not drying. and a ring on my cooker dont cook. id also recieved a letter from some finance house or other demanding my details of tennancy. needless to say i told them to do one until id spoken to the landlord. anyhoo. turns out, under the recent financial um situation, i think ill call it, that his affairs were to go under management and they will collect all of it so hed loose all the proffit on each of his 35 properties, not including the penthouse in spain thats worth £1.5m but couldnt give away, an the £3.5m divorce settlement last year didnt help, andit was more or less the fault of tennants not paying up on time. as you can imagine, i told him i have no sympathy. went down like sand in in the vaseline. oh well.
then my machine was running slower than a 56k job. remember them?
then my ipod went tits up.
mother
of
god
i never leave the house without it. 2gig nano. nothin flash. handy as i can change the tracks dailt if the mood takes me.
then i had to wait for the repair man, who despite knowing the problem and the make, turned up without the part.
then i applied for a drug testing program. £2k for takin a few experimental respiratory pills. the fact ive not seen a doctor for 10 years, so have no records for the the last 3 years ecludes me. "experimental drugs? are you mad?" you say? ok. how many times did you smoke/snot/inject something? you never know exactly what it is, but you do it anyway....? no? then you will never understand, but suffice it, that plenty of labrats and bunnies died already to make it almost 100% safe before they were granted a licence to try it on humans.
then i managed to cock up my fried eggs. i broke two yolks then lrt the other go hard, so no dippin of the mcains for me. nice one centurion.
doesnt sound muxh i know, but i am the opposite of dr kildare. unknown for my patients.
how did hbos loose £24b? c-units to a man. and who suffers? you, dear reader, as i am assuming you are a good little taxpayer, as for me, well, dream on.
one bit of good news tho. herindoors just picked up my ipod and said "did you try this?" and it worked. miraculous. course i tried it. umptenn fekin times. i fix stuff. thats what i do. not have a johnny foreigner, not even the mancub variety, do it for me. am i happy? im only happy when im unhappy. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
well. hasta manana.
Friday 27 February 2009
Thursday 26 February 2009
and away we go
im cold. my back hurts. sciatica. bless. grin and bear it. for anyone who has not had it, its a trapped nerve in my lower back. its as inconvenient as a mullettrucker. in real terms it means ill never be a limbo champion, and nothing more. it truly is grim up north. i miss the westcountry. i havent seen any livestock since i got here in september. i am here because i 'have' to be, not because i want to be. herindoors is doing some uni meelark. dont ask me what. ask her. i dont know what its like here, i dont know. i work from home so i dont have to go further than sainsburys down the road. its always jammers with bloody students.
i have no interest in 'making friends' here. i have all the friends i need, but for one reason or another, i dont see them anymore. i will. soon i hope. so the tinterweb has some uses. i finally sorted out my messenger. for some reason microshite couldnt get a new one that works with zonealarm. nice work. messenger is the only way i have of talkin to luchbox. lunchbox is my 'go to' guy, so you can see why that would be a pain up the 'arris when messenger goes tango uniform. so that brings me to arsebook.
i hate it more than handsome george hates pikeys. but these days its kinda necessary. i can keep up with everyones smalltalk, without having to feign interest therein. bear in mind, you already know i despise looking at peoples pictures, unless i have some connection with the person. "look how mashed i look....". yeah. nice one. now do one or ill cut your ears off. but it is a good metaphor (do i mean that? do i mean microsomething.... idunno) for life. we make friends, choose to portray ourselves in a certain light, declare to the world that we are in or out of relationships and such, publish photos, yaddayaddayadda..... there is also the underlying paranoia amongst some that it is some form of conspiracy to make the 'authorities' aware of who knows who and whos doing what with who and for how much. jeebus rollerblading christ. how arrogant. lets face it, we all have 'friends' that were not really interested in. i deleted 52 bods the other day. not because i dont like them. just because, well, honestly....? im not that bothered. id love to delete it all together, but it has its uses, as weve said. but hang on, thats true in life to. honestly now, dont you have a few non-ether based friends like that? i do. then of course it spills out of the ether. how often do you hear "yeah, like, i saw on your facebook........". does that not defeat the object? i think possibly its all getting a little serious. some chap, ive no idea who he is, friend of a friend (an actual friend) got all offended when i posted a note saying i neither knew nor cared who he is. whatthecrazyhell? when did honesty go out of fashion? if id told him that in a bar, he would have doubled away smartly, but facebook gives you nads, apparently....... hotwattinhum. but we keep going with it dont we. i had a great old chinwag with an old friend yesterday on the instant message thing. he actually encouraged me to do this. so blame him.
i have no interest in 'making friends' here. i have all the friends i need, but for one reason or another, i dont see them anymore. i will. soon i hope. so the tinterweb has some uses. i finally sorted out my messenger. for some reason microshite couldnt get a new one that works with zonealarm. nice work. messenger is the only way i have of talkin to luchbox. lunchbox is my 'go to' guy, so you can see why that would be a pain up the 'arris when messenger goes tango uniform. so that brings me to arsebook.
i hate it more than handsome george hates pikeys. but these days its kinda necessary. i can keep up with everyones smalltalk, without having to feign interest therein. bear in mind, you already know i despise looking at peoples pictures, unless i have some connection with the person. "look how mashed i look....". yeah. nice one. now do one or ill cut your ears off. but it is a good metaphor (do i mean that? do i mean microsomething.... idunno) for life. we make friends, choose to portray ourselves in a certain light, declare to the world that we are in or out of relationships and such, publish photos, yaddayaddayadda..... there is also the underlying paranoia amongst some that it is some form of conspiracy to make the 'authorities' aware of who knows who and whos doing what with who and for how much. jeebus rollerblading christ. how arrogant. lets face it, we all have 'friends' that were not really interested in. i deleted 52 bods the other day. not because i dont like them. just because, well, honestly....? im not that bothered. id love to delete it all together, but it has its uses, as weve said. but hang on, thats true in life to. honestly now, dont you have a few non-ether based friends like that? i do. then of course it spills out of the ether. how often do you hear "yeah, like, i saw on your facebook........". does that not defeat the object? i think possibly its all getting a little serious. some chap, ive no idea who he is, friend of a friend (an actual friend) got all offended when i posted a note saying i neither knew nor cared who he is. whatthecrazyhell? when did honesty go out of fashion? if id told him that in a bar, he would have doubled away smartly, but facebook gives you nads, apparently....... hotwattinhum. but we keep going with it dont we. i had a great old chinwag with an old friend yesterday on the instant message thing. he actually encouraged me to do this. so blame him.
day one
first off, i dont do capital letters or much puntuation. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
i dont do blogs as a rule. i dont really understand what they are, what theyre for or what they are supposed to achieve. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
i dont mean to alienate anyone, humiliate anyone, upset anyone, berate anyone, although any references to places, events or people (alive or dead) is purely intentional. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
so there we have it. lets try and get this toad on the road
i dont do blogs as a rule. i dont really understand what they are, what theyre for or what they are supposed to achieve. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
i dont mean to alienate anyone, humiliate anyone, upset anyone, berate anyone, although any references to places, events or people (alive or dead) is purely intentional. anyone not happy with that, go read a book.
so there we have it. lets try and get this toad on the road
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